It seems like I finally have to #launch this. I've had the pieces in place for awhile but I've been afraid to take the plunge. Superficially I fear rejection, but really my mask has protected me against that since learning how to use the false ego as a teenager.
More significantly, I'm afraid of how this changes me, the progression from a thought to a statement, a statement that cannot be taken back. Even if it goes into a void (which would be fine), just the act of having made the statement will solidify certain thoughts into beliefs. And those beliefs will not be congruent with my IRL persona or the ethics of how I pay my bills. I will lose that part of myself, and probably my job.
So what replaces that? A new set of ethics only goes so far. What kind of person will I become? Will I be happy? Will I carve out a new life for myself? Or will I descend further into neuroses, isolation, and the uglier parts of my mind.